Night At The Museum 2

Night At The Museum 2
Night at the Museum 2 is plugging an odd gap for family entertainment in the early summer film schedule. Outside the excellent-but-weird Coraline (still on release) and not forgetting The Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience (out next week – my eyes already hurt) there’s no major release targeted at children until Ice Age 3 opens on July 1.

This puts a reviewer in a bind. I can only recommend Ben Stiller’s comedy sequel in the way I might a burnt sausage when there’s nothing else to eat: it’s not terribly appetising, but it’ll have to do. After all, the notion of waxwork exhibits coming to life and waging war on each other isn’t such a bad recipe for undemanding, sugar-rush escapism, and there’s certainly enough boisterous action to keep the kids happy. Also in the plus column, we get some frisky business with a puce-coloured Leviathan squid (surprisingly friendly, when you get to know it) and a pair of Capuchin monkeys who trade subtitled insults and enjoy happy-slapping Stiller. No problems there.

The movie is only a let-down when you compare its nimbler predecessor – hardly an immortal classic, but an unpretentious romp which made much better use of Stiller’s seething incredulity. In case you’ve forgotten, he played Larry Daley, a newly-recruited security guard at New York’s Museum of Natural History. Late at night, everything came to life, and watching this furious, disappointed man get chased by a re-animated T-Rex skeleton was giddy fun, not just thanks to the state-of-the-art computer effects.

It’s somehow less fun, during this film’s needlessly elaborate set-up, watching Larry pine for his previous job (he’s now a super-successful entrepreneur) and follow his waxy old friends to the Smithsonian Institution, where they are to be stashed in an underground vault and may never see the light of day again. Robin Williams’s sad-faced Teddy Roosevelt explains the situation: without the crucial Egyptian tablet that gives them life, it’s curtains. Down in the basement, a lisping Pharaoh (Hank Azaria) has his own claim on this impressively tacky gold-embossed artifact and announces a routine evil takeover. His batty accent – one of the film’s more striking bits of eccentricity – is pitched somewhere between Quentin Crisp goes bananas and a Spanish gigolo doing a Jeremy Irons impression.

Via a contretemps with a jobsworth security guard, played in the film’s one genuinely hilarious cameo by Superbad’s Jonah Hill, Larry must come to the rescue, which means ducking and diving beneath every effect and costumed baddie at director Shawn Levy’s disposal. There’s time for an engaging, comparatively highbrow sequence in a chamber of living paintings and sculptures, which has Jeff Koon’s red balloon dog prancing about, a writhing Pollock, and a Roy Lichtenstein winking at us. The idea isn’t that original – I last remember seeing it in Joe Dante’s Looney Tunes: Back in Action– but it pays off with a full-scale trip inside Robert Doisneau’s most famous photograph. We get a neat black-and-white recreation of Paris boulevard life in 1950, with those eternal kissers briefly pulled apart by Stiller and pals: a nice touch.

Still, as this hectic, mechanical, more-is-less enterprise wore on, I began to feel very sorry for Owen Wilson, reprising his role as a thimble-sized Lilliputian cowboy called Jedediah. He spends the first half of the movie trapped in a storage crate, and the second half stuck in the bottom of a gradually filling hourglass enduring Azaria’s taunts. He has absolutely no chance to act or react amusingly, and neither, really, does Stiller, dutifully tethered to the chaos this time when he was better off being randomly terrorised by minuscule Indians. As for Amy Adams, joining the gang as feisty Transatlantic pilot Amelia Earhart, she remains a welcome presence in any film, and looks absolutely smashing in her tight trousers, so it’s a pity the screenwriters make her comic gifts, too, count for so little.

Having to deliver the word 'ace' at the end of every line was never going to make this her most inspired gig, but then she, Stiller, Wilson, and anyone who wants a glimmer of actual style from their family entertainment, deserve quite a lot better than this.

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Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Ice Age 3 Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)
The sub-zero heroes from the worldwide blockbusters "Ice Age" and "Ice Age: The Meltdown" are back on an incredible adventure for the ages. Scrat is still trying to nab the ever-elusive nut (while, maybe, finding true love); Manny and Ellie await the birth of their mini-mammoth, Sid the sloth creates his own makeshift family by hijacking some dinosaur eggs; and Diego the saber-toothed tiger wonders if he's growing too "soft" hanging with his pals. On a mission to rescue the hapless Sid, the gang ventures into a mysterious underground world, where they have some close encounters with dinosaurs, battle flora fauna run amuck--and meet a relentless, one-eyed, dino-hunting weasel named Buck.

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
IN 2002, Wim van Hanegem, assistant coach of the Dutch national soccer team, was asked who he was going to vote for in the upcoming general election. Van Hanegem replied that he had little interest in politics, but his children liked Harry Potter, and the Christian Democrats leader Jan Peter Balkenende looked like Harry Potter. Therefore, his vote would be going to them.
A few weeks later, Balkenende became Prime Minister of the Netherlands, a position he has held ever since. Harry Potter, meanwhile, has continued his world domination. Seven books and six films later, JK Rowling’s creation is more popular than ever.
It was, then, with a certain amount of trepidation that your correspondent made his way to ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’. You see (whisper it): I had never seen a Harry Potter movie in its entirety before.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I had given the previous five a go and felt the need to walk out. It’s just that the pictures have become staples of Christmas TV schedules, when cake, presents and soccer tend to get in the way. Glimpses here and there, yes; a rough idea of who’s who, check. But a credits-to-credits few hours spent in the company of the boy in the specs, nope. I was, to all intents and purposes, a novice.
One glance at the packed theatre, and the cries of ‘Ha-rry! Ha-rry!’ that greeted lights down, suggested my ignorance put me in a tiny minority. This was a long-awaited event for a great many people.
The opening is spectacular – a group of Death-eaters (great name, that) swoop down on London and a bridge topples over. A house is put back together with a style not seen since Mary Poppins was in her prime. The effects, the set and the look are all first class, and it seems anyone who’s anyone in British cinema is along for the ride. Alan Rickman is the pick of the bunch as the sinister Snape, while Michael Gambon (who stepped into Richard Harris’s shoes to play Dumbledore) sports the longest beard seen by a mass audience since ZZ Top were packing them out.
There’s some decent humour, some of it provided by Louth’s Evanna Lynch – who plays Luna Lovegood – but there’s also a real darkness to much of the story. A clever flashback device makes an appearance, and there are two memorable scenes involving quidditch (airborne hockey, to this untrained eye). There is also, not unsurprisingly, a bit of magic. But not as much as you might expect.
And this is my main gripe with ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’ – considering it’s about a magician, a lot of the narrative is taken up with issues you can see examined in any teen drama. We have hormones on parade and love triangles to beat the band – nothing wrong with that, but isn’t that’s what we have ‘Home and Away’ for?
A few of the all-star cast phone in their performances, and of the principals, only Rupert Grint (who plays Ron Weasley) really shines. The flick left at least one newcomer to the franchise cold. “That was my first and last Harry Potter film,” he announced to all and sundry on the way out.
That’s not the case for me. I was sufficiently impressed to look forward to Harry’s two remaining outings on the silver screen (the final book is being cut in half for celluloid purposes). I might even catch up on the others in the meantime. How long is it to Christmas again?

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matrix

matrix
An imaginative hybrid of action, kung fu, and science fiction, THE MATRIX is a hyperkinetic, mind-bending, and visionary spectacle. Keanu Reeves stars as Neo, a disaffected computer hacker seeking the answer to the question, "What is the Matrix?" His search leads him to the elusive Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), who begins to enlighten Neo about the illusions of his so-called reality. In accepting the answer Morpheus provides, Neo is hurled into a futuristic world where old realities are shattered, and he must fight for his life, and the future of humanity, against a dangerous group of inhuman government agents.
With THE MATRIX, the Wachowskis have established themselves as innovative filmmakers who push the boundaries of live-action films. Like the groundbreaking STAR WARS, THE MATRIX (also the first film of a trilogy) showcases a unique visual style, one the Wachowskis achieved through an array of techniques and digital effects, some never before seen in mainstream Hollywood films. Although computer morphing technology had been used before in films such as THE ABYSS and TERMINATOR 2, the Wachowskis were the first to use "bullet time," a time-bending digital effect that utilizes both computer-generated imagery and still photography. The film itself is a complex story that aspires to mythology, focusing on a computer hacker named Neo (Keanu Reeves) who searches for the truth behind the mysterious force known as the Matrix. He finds his answer with a group of strangers led by the charismatic Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne). What they encounter in confronting that truth makes for a lightning-paced, eye-popping thrill ride of a movie. Packed with stunning fight scenes (choreographed by accomplished Hong Kong director Yuen Wo-Ping), astonishing visual effects, quotable lines, and a terrific supporting cast (led by Carrie-Anne Moss, in her first major Hollywood film), THE MATRIX is a bold triumph that raises the bar for all science fiction films.

Theatrical release date: April 2, 1999. THE MATRIX won three Academy Awards: Achievement in Film Editing, Sound, and Visual Effects (beating out STAR WARS EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM MENACE). In each category, the winners quoted a line from the film. The Wachowski brothers got their start at Marvel Comics, where they wrote dialogue for Clive Barker's HELLRAISER. The official website, www.whatisthematrix.com, features a revolving showcase of comic book writers. The actors initially thought combat training would take a few weeks. They eventually trained for more than five months (October 1997-March 1998), primarily because the actors and the Wachowskis wanted to limit the use of stunt doubles in the picture; the directors wanted the audience to see that the actual actors were performing the stunts. Each actor had their own kung fu master on the set. Neo is an anagram for "One." The Wachowskis named Neo’s alter ego Thomas, for the biblical Doubting Thomas. SIMULACRA AND SIMULATION, Jean Baudrillard’s theoretical text concerning culture, reality, and simulation, is the title of the book Neo uses to keep his contraband. Carrie-Anne Moss sprained her ankle during the filming of the federal lobby scene but told no one at the time, even though she was unable to walk the next day. Moss appeared in the 1993 television show MATRIX, about a hit man working for the underworld. A musical theater piece by the Live Bait Theater group in Chicago (the Wachowski brothers’ hometown) called NEO: A MATRIX MUSICAL ran in May 2000. Producer Joel Silver called THE MATRIX "the first film of the new millennium." Talking about the making of the film, Fishburne compared the brothers Wachowski to the Brothers Grimm in their ability to tell fairy tales. Weapons expert Rock Galotti taught the cast how to realistically hold and shoot all the weapons in the film.

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Land Of The Lost

Land Of The Lost
Will Ferrell and Danny McBride can find the dumb fun in anything. Too bad that Land of the Lost is so much less than anything. It remolds a tacky 1970s TV series about humans in a cave-man time warp into a bloated theme park of a movie that features Sleestak sex, a dino-piss shower, bowel obstruction and the gayest of Chorus Line tunes ("God, I hope I get it"). McBride's survivalist, Will Stanton, does weird things with fireworks. And Ferrell, as scientist Rick Marshall, reaches his hand down his shorts for a tug when things get boring. Kids, don't try this at the multiplex. Director Brad Silberling, infamous for Casper and Lemony Snicket, repeats gags, like the primate (Jorma Taccone) grabbing the boobs of Rick's British research assistant, Holly (Anna Friel), with laugh-killing frequency. You've been warned.

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The Proposal

The Proposal
Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) is the executive editor-in-chief of a book publishing company, Colden Books. All of her workers, including her assistant Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds), hate her, and she fires a senior editor, Bob Spaulding (Aasif Mandvi) because he is unable to get an author named Frank be interviewed by Oprah. After learning she is being deported to Canada, she forces Andrew to marry her, as his future is tied to hers. When the government investigates, Mr. Gilbertson (Denis O'Hare) informs them that they will undergo rigorous testing to prove that the marriage is not fraudulent. Andrew grudgingly accepts, under the condition that he is promoted to the position of editor and his manuscript be published. He also forces Margaret to propose nicely to him on her knees in the streets of New York, and to allow him to tell his parents they are getting married.

The two are forced to spend the weekend with his parents in Sitka, Alaska in order to sell the lie, where they will be attending the 90th birthday party of Andrew's grandmother (Gammy) (Betty White). Margaret is very unreceptive of Alaska, and is furthermore shocked to learn that Andrew's family owns most of the business in Sitka. They attend a surprise party for them, where Andrew catches up with his ex-girlfriend, Gertrude "Gert" (Malin Akerman). After he is humiliated by his father, Joe Paxton (Craig T. Nelson), Andrew announces that he and Margaret are getting married. They are forced to kiss, and do so passionately, showing the first signs of respect for one another. Andrew's parents then show them their room, and Gammy gives them a special blanket (called baby-maker, which they avoid). Andrew and Margaret sleep separately - Andrew on the floor and Margaret in the bed.

The next morning, Margaret wakes to hear her phone ringing. After waking Andrew with her loud conversation, she goes outside; the family dog, Kevin, follows her and is swooped up by an eagle. She gets Kevin back, but the eagle instead takes her phone. Andrew, having seen the commotion, informs her that she, his mother Grace and Gammy are going shopping; the shopping actually proves to be a male strip show by Ramone. Margaret talks with Gert about Andrew, who tells her that they dated through college, and when Andrew asked her to elope with him, she didn't want to go from her home, and said no. Margaret comes home and takes a shower, but finds no towels; when she goes to get one, she is stopped by Kevin. Meanwhile, Andrew confronts his father after he apologizes and asks him to take up the family business, telling him he's happy in New York. He goes to the balcony of their room, stripping naked. Margaret, also naked, goes for a towel after distracting Kevin, only to run into Andrew. He sees her tattoo before going to take a shower. That night, Andrew and Margaret tell each other a little about their past, and find out they like the same band.

Next morning, Joe and Grace knock at the door with breakfast. Andrew and Margaret hurriedly get into bed, and the family suggest they could marry the same weekend, and they reluctantly accept. Andrew is stressed because the marriage is actually a sham, and Margaret tries to comfort him, finding herself genuinely caring for him. To sort out her emotions, she goes for a bike ride into the woods, where she finds Gammy "giving thanks". Gammy invites her to join her, and they end up dancing to "Get Low", while Andrew watches. Andrew takes her into Sitka, and she tries to contact New York. However, Gammy and Grace arrive and take Margaret to be fitted into a dress that Gammy's great grandmother made, and a necklace that's been in the Paxton family for generations. Deciding that she can't do this to Andrew, she hijacks a boat and tries to explain, but she falls off after he takes the steering wheel. Andrew goes back for her, and they return to his house. Once there, they find that Joe has contacted Mr. Gilbertson, who asks them again to admit the sham. Andrew vehemently denies.

During the wedding ceremony, Margaret decides she cannot do this to Andrew and confesses the business arrangement in front of everyone- including Mr. Gilbertson, who tells her she has twenty four hours to get back to Canada, and thus goes back to New York to pack her things. Gammy fakes a heart attack. Upon doing so, however, Andrew shows up at the office and confesses his love for Margaret in front of the entire office staff, proposing marriage all over again. They go to Mr. Gilbertson once more to get engaged "for real".

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Madea Goes To Jail

Madea Goes To Jail
This is Madea, also known as Mabel Simmons, losing her cool (for neither the first time nor the last) in “Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail.” The only possible response to this question — and I offer it with all respect, not wishing to ruffle Ms. Simmons’s formidable feathers — is: If you can’t stand the melodrama, then get out of the Tyler Perry movie.

Which is unlikely, since Madea is of course played by Mr. Perry, who is the writer, the director and a producer (he also plays two other roles). His formula is by now well established, in movies like “Madea’s Family Reunion” and “The Family That Preys,” even if his filmmaking technique remains noticeably unpolished. His stories swerve, sometimes as violently as Madea’s 1978 Cadillac, from low comedy to high feeling, from tears to belly laughs. Their messages are sometimes muddled but always emphatic, an expansive collection of homilies preaching compassion, self-reliance, forgiveness and revenge.

But “Madea Goes to Jail” differs from its immediate predecessors in giving the spotlight back to its title character. In “Meet the Browns” she had little more than a cameo, but it was on her large frame (which is to say his own, augmented by body padding and a gray wig) that Mr. Perry built his entertainment empire. (There are plays, books, a studio in Atlanta and two sitcoms on TBS.) And her function is to cut through the piety and sentimentality without subverting it. She won’t set foot in church, abuses family members who do and refuses to be cured by Dr. Phil, but she is not so much cynical or mocking as righteously, raucously honest.

And the best parts of “Madea Goes to Jail” — in which the law catches up with this uncompromising, unruly matriarch — are her muttering, motormouthed harangues. The rest of it is a fairly clumsy tale of sin and redemption, involving a young assistant district attorney (Derek Luke) whose impending marriage to a colleague (Ion Overman) is disrupted when he runs across a childhood friend (the former “Cosby Show” moppet Keshia Knight Pulliam) fallen into a life of prostitution and addiction. Mr. Luke and Viola Davis, who plays a minister, are superb actors (Ms. Pulliam is pretty good, too), and at times their intensity is almost too much for the movie, making the transitions from raw emotion to silly humor all the more jarring.

There is something both satisfying and frustrating about “Madea Goes to Jail,” which opened Friday without advance press screenings. Mr. Perry dutifully gives his audience what it wants, but you can’t help feeling that he might also have more to offer: more coherent narratives, smoother direction, better movies. Still, as long as he has Madea — a force of nature and now something of a pop-culture institution — he might not need any of that.

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